What Say You, Furniture?
by NippaNippa123
Summary: YAOI! This takes place (kind of) in an AU. This is a dimension in which Umineko and Kuroshitsuji characters can meet and interact. Mostly this is a pairing of Ciel and Kanon while Sebastian is a bit of a third wheel. Since Kanon is Japanese he can't understand them, so yeah. Enjoy.


Hello! So, here's the quick tutorial! It's told in Kanon's perspective, and he can't speak/understand english! **Bold = English** And that's about it, I believe.

Anyway, this is boyxboy(xboy), so if you don't like it, don't read it! A little backstory, this is in England (obviously) kind of as a before the first episode/first book of Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler. I do make fun of Sebastian because Kanon is rude no matter how you look at it. I also try to keep out of OOCness, but sometimes it doesn't work too well, so I hope you forgive me. I also hope you forgive my long sentences and repetitive words. If you wish to proceed after all that (and the fact that this is my OTT/OTP crossover), then I hope you enjoy!

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><p>I have no idea why, but the boy before me still had not ceased to point at me. I had no idea what he was speaking to Master Kinzo about, but the boy's butler was looking at me with an annoyingly amused face. Obviously, it was probably some English insult. Master then told me that he was going to speak to the boy alone and to wait with the butler in the hall. The two of them walked into a small room and closed the door. I was stuck with Mr. Creepy Smirk.<p>

"You seem very bored. Are you alright serving such an old master at such a young age?" he asked me. I was surprised that he could speak Japanese when his own master had no idea. I decided to ignore him, but he came right next to me and patted my back so hard that I tripped forward. I looked at him and all he did was smile at me amusedly again. I returned with a glare and stood back up.

"Do not worry, I do not wish to harm or judge you," he chuckled. "My name is Sebastian Michaelis. What is yours?"

I hesitated for a while then turned to face him directly.

"Kanon"

"A strange name for a strange boy, hm?"

Now he proceeds to insult me? What kind of man could get such a job as head butler while being so rude? Apparently, Britain has no boundaries when it comes to servants.

When the two masters came out, Sebastian slowly started to appear serious. He walked to the boy and they started talking. Master came up to me and told me that he and the head of the family were going to have an exchange.

"The man standing by the head is an expert in demon summoning. Although the head said that he's never actually summoned one, he knows how to do so."

Either he was insane or I was hearing incorrectly. That the child Sebastian serves is actually the Earl of Phantomhive.

"I understand, sir," I started," but what do you mean by 'exchange'?"

"The head has taken an interest in you. He will let me use his butler's knowledge if I let you stay here for the remainder of the month."

"What?"

"I still have other furniture who can replace you for that time; even so, it took a bit of discussion. You will stay here."

"U-understood, sir."

Master then exchanged words with the earl and gave him a small book of romaji and English letterings. The boy flipped through it then told me "hello" and that his name was Ciel Phantomhive. I bowed to him, but before I could tell him my name, his butler did so.

Master Kinzo handed me my small bag of emergency clothing, told Mr. Michaelis to come, and they both left. The earl and I were completely alone. He called to me then motioned to follow him, which I did.

He led me through the enormous manor, using short phrases to tell me what each room was. When we came across the kitchen, he stopped and an explosion fazed into the hallway along with the sound of coughing. I looked inside once the smoke had subsided. A blonde-haired man with bristles was lighting a cigarette as he stood up mumbling something about a butler and punishment. When he saw me and the earl, he perked up and set his cigarette aside, smiling. He spoke with the earl a bit then looked at me cheerily before skimming the translation book he had been given.

"I am called Bardroy! Bard for small!"

I bowed to him then pointed to myself. "I am Kanon."

"**Booku wan? What?" **he replied. Then the boy told him my name. "Oh, Kanon!" Bardroy extended his hand to me, but I stood still. He frowned a little then grabbed my hand and moved it up and down. He and the earl talked again then they both looked at me confused. I wanted to speak to them, so I said the only English phrase I knew.

"**W-would you like your medicine, mistress?"**

Bard burst out in laughter as Ciel attempted to hold in his. The man then patted my back almost as hard as Sebastian had. It caused me to lose balance and tumble forward. Then he said, "**Mistress**," and shook his head. "**Young master**" then he nodded. I guess '**mistress**' is meant for females. He pointed to himself and stated "**chef.**" I nodded and the two spoke once more. Once they finished, Bard began to clean, and Ciel motioned for me to follow him again. We continued the tour and came across his maid and gardener. The meetings of both were similar to meeting Bard, only, in Meyrin's case, my cheeks were pinched while in Finnian's case, I was squeezed half to death.

The earl ended the tour in his bedroom, he wrote down times and romaji for what to do in the morning, afternoon, and evening then he tried to speak with me.

"Sebastian. . . come. . . three. . . days. . . it is okay," he managed to say while flipping through the translation book. I nodded to show my understanding though I thought that it was strange to exchange a butler to one party for three days and another for twenty-one.

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><p>Um, so what do you think? I've already written this a while ago, but I was just too lazy to type it and upload it. Tell me what you think! It will get a bit more M in the next chapter. If you want to know about how I came up with this pairing, blame my Alois friend. We did a pretty weird crossover of Kanon and Alois (which is my super OTP now) a long while ago. She also got us both into this ship. Well, I guess I'm done. Bye bye!<p>

Live on and fly to the Golden Land!


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